Overcoming Our Vanity

I am always hearing, “Oh yeah it’s no big deal, I can deal with it.” How do we find peace in situations that we continue to find ourselves in daily struggles that we can’t overcome. We repeatedly make the same mistakes or sins in the eyes of God and can’t seem to get over the hump. Problem is our vanity or pride in ourselves thinking we can do everything by ourselves without the help of God is the route we often choose. Believe it or not the Devil is out to get you when your down on yourself!! This is when we are most vulnerable to make dumb decisions in which we sincerely regret. Then we have despair and depression to deal with. This is a terrible sin in which we do not have the Hope in the Lord to help us get through these tough times. In the past two weeks I have heard about two suicides. The young adult suicidal rates are through the roof in this country and it mainly due to the pressure put on themselves by society and their peers. Our peace and relationship with the Lord can only be the help of many young adults in these situations. We need to focus on what is important in life and not fall in the pits of societies false lies, that our young adults often find themselves in. Whether it is the lies of pornography, cohabitation, pre-martial sex, immodesty, and the list goes on. So men challenge yourself and get off the mainstream “do whatever feels good” bus and be a man. For women today I hope are looking for someone worthy of their love and should be setting their standards high.

“For he is our peace, he who made both one and broke down the dividing wall of enmity, through his flesh, abolishing the law with its commandments and legal claims, that he might create in himself one new person in place of the two, thus establishing peace, and might reconcile both with God, in one body, through the cross, putting that enmity to death by it. He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near, for through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.”   -Eph 2:14-18

 

Proper Place, Proper Order

Many people today seek the meaning of life with an emphasis on the word “freedom”. As Blessed John Paul II says, “Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” I think that is so true. So often we are in denial of what we think we can and can’t do. Obviously we are very blessed to live in this great country where we have many freedoms in which other people will not see in their lifetime. I think the word has become bent in the wrong direction and used out of context in many situations throughout history and this present time. I want to do this, I want to do that….how many people have heard this. But in fact a lot of the times this is just our pride and egoism taking root in our selfish ways.

Order and discipline I believe are constantly lacking in society today. Many kids are raised today with no manners, let alone discipline. One factor I believe is often the lack of fatherhood in the household. There are so many broken families in society today that fatherhood so often goes unnoticed and is tremendously missed down the road. The devil knows that the Father holds the family together and will attack the root of the family to demise it.

Our passions and desires in life are sometimes both hard to contain and can also be a burden. The evil one knows that our passions and desires can easily be attacked and used against us as we fall daily in life. He has access to our imagination and passions. Its is hard for many to understand that the greater realities of love and forgiveness are won in the will. It is chore for many, sometimes to do good. They are unaware that love is a choice, a decision, a commitment of the will. We can be aware of these passions and temptations and yet still be in conformity with the will of God, living in peace and love, even in the midst of our everyday life struggles. In terms of behavior, if we do not act as we think, we will end up thinking as we act. If we don’t rule our behavior, our behavior will rule our hearts. We need to have a clean heart, or our minds will not function properly. Our belief system and way of thinking will be dictated by the way act. Our minds then become slave to vices(lust, pride, etc) and we constantly have to explain and justify our actions.

Prudence is a virtue of acting and caring for events in the foreseeable future. Sometimes we have to make short-term sacrifices in order to bring out a better result, and that is also part of the virtue. When our passions are in charge, this virtue becomes lost. We may say, “Oh this is just a one-time thing that happens every now and then.” But in fact this is slavery to vice. So we need to have strong foundation. Not a house without windows, blowing things through it causing commotion. If you think about it, everything in life must be in a proper order, otherwise we have chaos. Our actions have consequences. Sin causes sickness. There is no “perfect man.” And none of us can be reprogrammed to become perfected.  We need that living voice that can guide us everyday. With God all things are a reality. Keep your head on straight and with constant help from our Lord we will overcome!

“Don’t you long to shout to those youths who are bustling around you: Fools! Leave those worldly things that shackle the heart – and very often degrade it – leave all that and come with us in search of Love!”
-St. Josemaria Escriva

Sexual Healing

With the dominant theme in society being that sex has no consequences, I couldn’t help in wanting to post this video below about the effects of having that mindset.  To add to it, I think that we as men need to step up to the plate and start being responsible for our actions. Too many men these days are blaming everyone but themselves for their actions. When couples enter a relationship often times they lack the mature intention of giving oneself to the other person. This is why so many relationships fail. This can’t be the mindset of relationships with the mindset of “seeing how much I can get out of her.” Sex is a intimate expression of total self-giving. It  is an act given selflessly to your spouse. As is mentions in the video, many are hurt as a result of their actions but God is always ready to pick up those are in need of help.

From the description of this awesome video:

A poem I originally wrote for open mic at Pacific University. The poem highlights our culture’s blind obedience to sexual norms, when it only seems to reap destruction. Pleasure is more at our fingertips in America than ever before, and yet depression steadily rises every year. It only shows that sex as recreation, or just for fun, is unable to satisfy us the way we were meant to be satisfied. Sex is good, in it’s proper context. This poem mainly focuses though on anyone who has been deeply affected, hurt, and damaged by sexual sin. Forgiveness and mercy are given freely by Jesus. He cleans, restores, and heals us beyond measure and asks nothing in return. He saw all our sin and filth before he went to the cross and it was still his joy to go get us.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”-Matthew 11:28

Go for the Gold

This post kinda relates to the downfall of mediocrity post. The video below is Father Corapi  talking about striving  for excellence. I have seen it so often today about the lack of work ethic in our young people. Society today is promoting a lot of free giveaways.  In that nothing should need to be worked for. All you need to do is just ask it shall be given to you. This is not right though, because strong country’s are built upon hard work and sacrifices made for each other. How can children grow up responsibly without learning good work ethic. Parents play a huge role in this development and I am lucky learning from my parents knowing of the sacrifices they have made for me. This is so critical in todays society. So I challenge you to take up your cross and go that extra mile! It feels good knowing you have given it your all and strived for the best.

Strong in Faith and Will

Everybody wants to stay in good physical shape. It is natural and both good for our bodies to crave those workouts that make us feel better. This is of course going to make us feel better naturally in the long run and make us live longer lives perhaps but what good is a strong body but a week spirit. I for one love to work out because it makes me  feel better each day, but the goodness of working out doesn’t satisfy my need for spiritual food and prayer.

Father Richards explains the need for men to be strong in faith and will. We as men gain all our strength from God. We have to take up and accept our responsibilities. Life is not fair and often we get thrown curveballs every now and then but our strength in God is what helps us overcome these. We can’t just give up! Father talks about having self-control over some addictions we may have. We will die because of lack of discipline. We can’t just spend all our time working out our physical bodies and ignore our souls everyday. Sure we’ll all be looking like models but the genuine ladies won’t care. They want strong men of faith and morals.

Discipline is huge for us. Men are attracted to things with their eyes and women with their feelings. Of course we when we see a beautiful women pass by we are often going to look. As Father said, we should say, “God you do great work.” The key is we have to avoid looking at women with lust. There are three things we need to overcome this temptation. First we need a good prayer life. Second, we need to surrond ourselves with good friends. And third, we need to sacrifice and be servants of the Lord.  Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” It does wonders when we surrond ourselves with good friends.

Obedience will help us follow in Christ’s footsteps. Lastly, I heard on the radio from one of my favorite priests Father John Corapi the other day, that humility is a tool that can overcome any obstacles or addictions we have. It is extremely powerful. Humility makes us have the courage to accept pain and suffering and offer it up to God. Jesus is the prime example for us.

 

LIVE IT UP!

Life is a gift. So why do our actions sometimes not represent how grateful and thankful we should be for all that we are given in our lives. I sometimes of course am a example of this way of acting. I feel strongly that even in those times where we may be down on ourselves, there is absolutely NO reason we should feel sorry for ourselves. Life is not fair, twists and turns are thrown our way every new day. It is how we act and go about each new challenge, will be the way we will be remembered and hopefully at the same time  making an impact in other people’s lives.  You here all the time live life with no regrets! I try to laugh a lot because my friends often just laugh at my distinct laugh.  Each day is a new day and smile and sing out loud(even if you don’t have a great voice) often! 🙂

With society being the devil these days, I think it is hard for men to resist those everyday temptations from friends and society. Well we need to be men of fortitude and stand up for our beliefs and not give into the easy way out!  Just think in the short term you may be laughed at but your virtues will continue to grow making yourself that much more of a man of virtue.

Earning a Womans Respect

So in keeping with my last post I will add two more rules men should abide by in their relationships with women. They are the following:

-I will respect womanhood because my mother is woman, I won’t do anything that I would be ashamed of if my mother finds out.

-Manhood means strength of character as well as body. Lack of self-control is a sign of weakness.

The first rule hits my conscious hard because of my sincere respect that I have for my mom. Her and my dad have raised not only myself but my brothers as well with the right morals and virtues to be strong men today. If we have this mindset that respect should not waver in any woman relationship we have today, we would see a lot less broken relationships. Treat women with the same love and respect that your mom has shown you throughout your life.

This second rule I think hits a home run in terms of the importance of “Being a man”. There are times of course where our emotions get the best of ourselves but there is no reason why we shouldn’t be able to control ourselves. And I of course have been guilty of being weak too at times. We all are. If we can limit those times and have more self-control then we will see the differences in our relationships with women. 

I want to make a point that these rules are not just rules for your girlfriend. But these are for all your female relationships. I have heard a lot these days how girls want to meet more “gentlemen” and less punks. Well these rules along with the other virtues are your tools for scoring that  beautiful girl who respects how you act. 

And lastly here is a Quote from Mother Teresa that can help in all our relationships with friends:

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.”                                                                         -Mother Teresa 

   

Relationship Rules for Men

Well I want to talk about some important tips that I found on a bookmark that I received when I was a teenager. These are more than tips. These are are life rules for men in regards to relationships with women. Again, I want to emphasize the importance of men taking responsibility for actions in relationships. So here are two that I will start off with and more will come in later blogs.

– The parents of my girlfriend place their trust in me. I will not violate it.

– I will respect my girlfriend as I expect other men to respect my sister.

Even though I know these are basic norms that every man thinks they follow.  I see most of the time in my life that these norms often go in one ear and out the other in mens lives. The first norm above is very simple.  Men should not throw away the trust given to them by their girlfriends parents and mistreat their girlfriend in any way. The second norm  follows suit with the first in that you wouldn’t want any man to mistreat your sister so remember to respect your girlfriend with the expectations you have of other men.

Remember the choices we make define our character. It is often easy to make the “easy choice” but think of the consequences down the road that this choice may lead to. Mike Severy had a great blog about Choices. I think everyone should read it.

Lastly I added the quote above, under my title. It is from Braveheart, one of my favorite movies. I think best describes the purpose of this blog and how we as men should act in helping to make the world a better place.

Responsibility

Responsibility is first aspect of “Being a Man”.  To be responsible is to “answerable,” to be accountable. We as men need to be responsible in our relationships with women.  Irresponsible behavior is immature behavior. And too often have I seen that in my daily life today. With relationships come responsiblity and often men don’t understand that aspect of the relationship.

Responsibility is learned from the home. Our parents foster to us what is right and wrong and then we learn through trial and error. Simple chores at home start off children on the right foot. Then as we grow as adults our responsibilities become larger take more essential roles in our lives.

Responsible persons are mature people who have taken charge of themselves and their conduct, who own their actions and own up to them.  Responsibility entails all of the above including: actions, thoughts, deeds, words, among others. We all make mistakes in relationship, it is what we do and own up to those mistakes which separates the men from the boys.